tomlover

Hi everyone -

This is my first time posting, but I hope someone, anyone, can give me some advice.

It's not me who is abusing drugs, it's my parents -
I'm sixteen years old, and they've been doing this my whole life.
The first time I knew I hated what they were doing was when I was 8 years old, crying, and I went to their room for help, but I got screamed and yelled at to not bother them.

At that point I felt like they chose drugs over their own child who needed parents.
Ever since that day, I've been carrying this resentment towards them -
I love my parents, but I can feel so angry towards them.

Whether that one day when I was 8 was what told me, "I don't want to do drugs", or wasn't, I know that even though I've grown up around it, I've never wanted to.

But my reason for posting here isn't for myself, it's because of my little sisters.
My one little sister is 7, and I know she's at the age where she is going to begin knowing what they are doing.
But I don't know what to do.
I want to express to her how much what they do hurts me everyday, how much I want for her to be strong, and for her to know not to do what they do.

I know that while I'm still living here she will have me as a support no matter what, but I also know before long I will be living somewhere else and she will have to deal with this without me being right there.
I just don't know if I should come straight out and say, "Please don't ever do what you see Mom and Dad doing" -
I don't know what to do.

Every single day I'm trying my hardest to make up for what my parents have lacked in -
My little sisters mean the world to me, and I never want them to be hurt.
I know that someday, they will have to face the world on their own -
I'm scared, because I wish I could protect them from any single thing that could hurt them, but I know I can't, and shouldn't.

They know Mom loves them, and they love her -
But they've also had her yell at them, they've heard the same heartless words come from her that used to make me so upset.
And then they have me as their bigger sister who has never, ever done anything to hurt them -
I'm not their mother, but since they were born it was my goal to always be there to help them.
And because I've never harmed them, they un-questioningly follow my guidance, and I feel so much pressure to do everything correctly.

I just don't know what to do to guide them away from what they are living in the same house with, every day.
I don't know how to tell them they shouldn't do that.
Because in my mind I feel like I am hurting my parents' image to them, I feel like I am saying they are bad people -
But this isn't what I want to do.

I just want to let them know that some of the things my parents do, they shouldn't.

If anyone actually reads this, thank you.
Please give me your advice and guidance, please.

Skymningsljus

Hello tomlover, I just wanted you to know that I've read what you wrote. I'm sorry for you. You have been through a hard life.

I want to say that your younger sisters are not your responsibility, eventhough I understand that you feel so. Do you have anyone outside your family that you can talk to? I think you need a lot of support.

Please write again if you feel like it!

Regards

Skymningsljus

Davikar

What your parents are doing is very wrong. They ARE bad people. People doing drugs are not good people at all, and especially not good parents.

Drugs are illegal, and what you should do is call the police. They will take care of your parents and contact the social services. If you really want to protect your little sisters, this is the best way to do it. They can be taken to a foster family - a much better place for both of them to grow up in.

förvanskad

check out a group called Al-Anon

they can give you some ideas on how to start about this process

__________________
Vad har jag att förlora?

Mariiqa W

I agree with the poster above, that your sisters are not your responsibility. And I say that because I think you need to hear it many times, I know by experience that it's easy to take on responsibility for your younger siblings when your family have troubles. At some piont, as you say, they're going to see what your parents are doing and they will probably get hurt. I'm sorry, but you can't save them from that. The only thing you can do is being a good big sister. When you move out, you can still be a good big sister, but you can't watch over them all the time and protect them.

My suggestion to you is to talk to an adult, or in some way contact the social services. I think that both you and your sisters will need other grown-ups that can take care of you in a way that your parents doesn't seem to manage. I also want you to remember that you're not betraying your parents by doing this, your parents need help and so does you and your sisters.

Take care and I wish you all luck!

__________________
*

CLUMILUR

This is very tragic to hear. I agree with the others. You and your sisters are worth a better grown- up and you have to contact a adult person. They can help you and even your parents.
Good luck!

d'Arc

Hi, very good that you supporting your sister the best you can, that’s the thing you should do if you don’t want her to end like your parents, it’s sad to read this that your parents go so far with drugs problem, I have not this problem with my parents, but I remember well when I was a kid, and my parents smoke cigarette and I want so badly to make them stop doing that, “that I was hiding that from them, man what I did them angry” but today they don’t smoke, how they stopped? That is another story”
However, it’s terrible that you suffer, my advices is not the best,”and my English is not the best either he,he” but you should make your parents realize that is “you kids” how suffering the most, you have to talk whit adults how can help you, because its not only you how can take this responsibly for your own, I think you are very strong lonely but how long can you stand?


Take care and your sister, listen to the others

voice

Can you show your parents this note that you wrote. They wont quit drugs but maybe just maybe they don't do it infront of your sisters?

Try?

waterlilly88

your text really toutched my soul..i am not so good at english sorry if i cant spell the words right.i think you need to get som help from somone in school or social services..you and your sisters need support.i have moved from my parents.my parents was fighting all the time.screaming at eatchother..you need somone adult to help you.write to me if you want to but you really should get som help your parents need help en you disurve a better life and your sisters too.dont give up!