the darkness

Nice with a english thread, I understand swedish but not all words so I prefer english.
A year ago my father past away i can`t get over it all people says it will get better but i feel worse for every day.
How can i proceed in my grife?
Hope some one will answer i can´t go on like this more i need help.

hundrik

hi!
I have had the same problems many years ago when my grandpa died. I felt that I had to know everything about him, what he did in his past and why he died. What you need to do is to talk aboutyour feelings.You have to understand that it is natural to feel sorry for your self. If you need to write it down in words, pleas do it here on this site.

Johanna Ö

Hi!

I´ll try to write in english but please ask me what I mean if there is anything you don´t understand.

The thing I think you need to do, is to take care of yourself much more in this situation. It's not easy so I understand if you feel powerless, but the better you take care of your self, the easier it will become to recover from grief...

Do things for yourself, socialize with people who makes you happy. Try not to sit alone by yourself and only think of him. When you think of it - don't you think your father wants you to be happy?

Just because you try to take care of yourself, doesn't mean you have forgotten him. How can you? He will be in your heart forever.

Take care!

/Johanna

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Johanna är mycket intresserad av terapeutiska metoder och ska gå Powerthinking Practioner i höst.

Xevil

Hey there.

Like Johanna just told you. You need to care about urself. Do things that makes YOU happy. Do things that u enjoy, interests etc. You can't just sit along alone just thinking of him, i mean, you can but u wanted to become better, right?

So, everytime you think of him, think like.. "Oh, father, i miss you! But lets do something that will make us both happy." and try go do something instead.

Do you really think that ur dad want you to be sad just because he is gone? Come on mate, he loves you. He is in ur heart. Be happy, do the life. Remember, if u ever need to have a lonely night, for urself, i shouldnt stop you. Take ur time, but dont take that much that you will miss all the good and funny things!

Keep it up! Love, Anders.

Thelostboy

I say the same think like the others. Like so many others that lost someone they love, they need time to handle it. They need to work throw the pain. I think its not good to have the grief all by yourself. Its good to share it with others. Its not easy sometimes but it can feel good to know that there are someone that you can thrust and just are there you are. I feel sorry for you. To lose a parent must be hard. I have both of mine in life and im very happy for it. Take care.

CLUMILUR

A good thing for me is to writing or drawing when i´m feeling sad or lonely. I´m writing my feelings on a paper.

Try it.
Hold on.

flamh

oh, that can't be easy. i'm tearing up just if i think about it, so i can imagine it's really hard for you.
but i think that when you miss someone, you will continue to miss that person for your entire life, even though that time may heal the scars a little bit, and you may not think about it as much as you used to.
but you can do things that maybe will make it all a little bit easier.
it's healthy to grieve, you need to cry, and you should. but when you feel ready - maybe you could try to think like "this is it, and i can't do anything about it" because you can't. and it wasn't your fault he died. your father probably wanted you to be happy, and i think it's fair to him if you try not to think negative thoughts all the time. think about the good times you had together instead.
and one more thing, this is what makes you stronger. carry those words with you, you'll be fine.
take care.

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det kunde ha varit värre

Bugge

Hi!

My English aint the best so ask if somthing isn´t clearer. My father died when i was 16 and it was very hard for me the first year. It felt lika a constant trauma for me an first after 2 years it felt that i was ready to process it. What i did was that i turned to the socialservices to help and advise and i got a contact person, a person from the outside that i could talk to about anything. It helpt me.

Today i still have times that the loss of my father feels hard even though it was almost 8 years he passed away. I think about my dad almost every day but the longer the time has past the more i start to think about what he gave me and all the good times we had. I can imagne that you carry some anger that your father disepeared from you? If you do it´s ok it´s part of the mourning.

My advice to you is to remember that you don´t have to stand alone in your greif. Take help from does that offer it and if it don´t get better seek help because loosing a love one is probaly one of the hardest things that we endore. If you want to talk about your father or your greif or just want to talk you can email me here at terapisnack.

I hope i were of some assistans.

Take care