oh, that can't be easy. i'm tearing up just if i think about it, so i can imagine it's really hard for you.
but i think that when you miss someone, you will continue to miss that person for your entire life, even though that time may heal the scars a little bit, and you may not think about it as much as you used to.
but you can do things that maybe will make it all a little bit easier.
it's healthy to grieve, you need to cry, and you should. but when you feel ready - maybe you could try to think like "this is it, and i can't do anything about it" because you can't. and it wasn't your fault he died. your father probably wanted you to be happy, and i think it's fair to him if you try not to think negative thoughts all the time. think about the good times you had together instead.
and one more thing, this is what makes you stronger. carry those words with you, you'll be fine.
take care.
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det kunde ha varit värre
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